Q. What is Soul Care?

A. Soul Care is a form of spiritual companionship that values and reflects the inner experience of the soul to the one being companioned. Companioning is literally ‘breaking bread with,’ so a Spiritual Companion may be thought of as someone who shares the feast of life with you – both by helping you to articulate your spiritual hungers, and by guiding you towards those things that will feed your soul. The focus of this work is the soul’s journey – its deep desires and refreshments, its commitments and longings, its pleasures and pains. Through Soul Care we come to recognize the lineaments of soul in our life and thus honor the soul’s intentions in everyday affairs.

Soul Care takes a stand for the health of the Soul distinct from traditional therapeutic or religious goals which may have the mental health, the social integration, or the religious salvation of the individual foremost in mind. In working with couples, for instance, the goal is not the “saving of the marriage” but rather the careful consideration of the Soul of the relationship in particular and the Souls of the two individuals who are involved in creating that third soul. Soul Care recognizes that social mores and traditional religious values often have very little to do with deep soul issues and that initially, a fierce loyalty to perceived imperfections in character are needed to honor the integrity of the Soul.

Clarity, focus, patience, joy, a sense of destiny, peace, satisfaction, greater integrity, renewed energy for dreams and ideals, expression of talents, balance between the inner and outer life, a deepened capacity for compassion, a feeling of being deeply rooted in one’s life – these are all outcomes of Soul Care. The path, however, may lead through doubt, disappointment, confusion, despair, loss and grief. Unattended, these emotions can be paralyzing or frighten away even the committed pilgrim. Attended to in the presence of one who honors the necessity of all phases of the journey, this work can be the most important undertaking of your life. Your commitment and willingness to do the work of ‘walking the talk’ makes this possible.


Q. Does my Spiritual Companion need to have the same religious views as I do?

A. No. Soul Care is not didactic; it is not about preaching or teaching; there is no imposition of beliefs. It is about active listening and reflecting – being a mirror for your soul. Like a good friend, your Spiritual Companion holds his or her own beliefs, while allowing you to hold yours in mutual respect. Most Spiritual Companions follow their own course of directed spiritual guidance, so that when they are with you, they are free to be entirely present to you and your path. Some of the most successful partnerships are between persons of vastly different belief systems, where the contrasts themselves allow the contours of the spirit to stand forth in beautiful relief. Rev. Rebecca's training as a Unitarian minister and her many years of interfaith work with the Parliament of World's Religions make her sympathetic to many belief systems. Her personal stance is that all paths, followed with honorable intention, lead to truth.


Q. Do I need to believe in God to participate in Soul Care?

A. No. There are many spiritual traditions which are non-theistic: Buddhism, Taoism, Religious Humanism, to name a few. The sacred is a multi-faceted idea which may or may not include a belief in or relationship to God or supreme being. Rev. Rebecca’s long term work in mythopoetics and archetypal psychology have shaped her ideas of Soul Care and she sees the workings of soul as a force akin to gravity or water currents or the movement of clouds – everywhere the patterns of the soul make themselves visible in recognizable ways, but always unique to each person, time an place.


Q. Who may become a Spiritual Companion and offer Soul Care?

A. Traditionally, Spiritual Companions, Directors or Guides have been members of religious orders who acted as mentors for lay persons or younger clergy. Today, people from many disciplines are turning to Spiritual Companioning and bringing their special expertise to the calling. You will often find Spiritual Companions who have had training in one of the counseling professions – minister, mediator, therapist, chaplain – or someone whose life experiences have given them a spiritual ripeness which qualifies them to walk with others on the spiritual path. Rev. Rebecca has two professional degrees in ministry, has studied chaplaincy, has served in two congregations, and has worked with many couples and individuals in exploring deep life issues over the last fifteen years. In addition, she brings her lifetime study of mythology and the poetic arts into service as a mirror for reflection on the archetypal dimensions of love, work and destiny.


Q. What does a session of Soul Care look like?

A. The Soul Care offered by Rev. Rebecca is for individuals and couples.  An individual session is usually an hour in length and may include any of the following: prayer, meditation, journaling, dreamwork, active imagination, artwork, poetry, role-playing, creative writing, ritual, conversation, and many other forms of spiritual play/work. The creation of a spiritual biography is usually undertaken at the beginning of a partnership, so that some sense of the soul’s direction, wounds, and personal language becomes clear to both companions. Some companioning is augmented by phone calls or email consultations in addition to the face-to-face meetings. Each style of communication has its own strengths and each partnership can decide what balance works best for them.

Soul Care for Couples is generally 90 minutes in length with a further half hour of journaling to bring reflection into the experience. Principles of mediation, where Rebecca acts as a neutral but catalytic presence for the sharing of mutually affective stories, are employed to bring about movement in stuck or frozen negotiations. The search for the deep story of the Soul of the relationship is especially important in instances where a couple is not sure whether to stay together or separate. Understanding where the marriage is in the long path of “relational alchemy” can bring a new perspective that gives meaning to the current suffering and a hope for a renewal of affection after the turmoil of transformation is accomplished. It may also bring clarity to the decision to part, and to do so without rancor since the Soul’s purpose has been accomplished and therefore there is no need to blame.

Q. How does Soul Care affect a marriage or relationship?

A. Great resources must be brought to a relationship to keep it flourishing. This is an enormous task that lasts many years and sometimes it is wise to return to the deep waters of the soul to refresh and reinvigorate the high goals of the marriage vows. While a good relationship can and should 'support' the partners, the partners must continually be bringing new resources to the relationship. When this does not happen, stagnation or emotional starvation can set in. Rev. Rebecca has done much work in studying the deep stories of love and its challenges from the world's storehouse of myth and legend. She helps couples discover the mythic patterns that they have been living out and so bring new understanding, forgiveness, humor and acceptance to the inevitable foibles of human love. Very often, the insight that reveals one's place in the drama is sufficient to bring balance and perspective into what otherwise might seem an intolerable situation. The ability to reframe one's perception of 'the story' is invaluable in choosing how to respond to various challenges in the unfolding narrative of a marriage or committed relationship.


Q. Can Soul Care help in the ending of a relationship? 

A. Having a companion who offers both empathy and honesty can be most effective during times of great confusion and distress. Especially in relationships where emotional pain tempts one to blame and scapegoat, it can be very healing to remember that the deep soul requires us to suffer through challenges to our esteem and ego so that we can learn lessons we might not otherwise care to learn. Returning to a place of gratitude and trust in the soul's deep wisdom and the recognition that each of us charts our own course and chooses our own players can bring one back to center in the midst of the storm.  Rebecca’s deep knowledge and experience with ritual enable her to suggest powerful ways of moving with the energy to keep from being stranded in desolate places during these difficult transitions. Click here to read about the healing efect of Rituals of Divorce.

Q. What is the frequency and duration of Soul Care and what are the costs?

A. Most Spiritual Companioning partnerships are entered into for a period of at least six months, with monthly meetings at a minimum. Some partnerships last for years, some for decades, some only for the duration of a spiritual or personal crisis or decision-making period. A couple seeking insight into a marital challenge may find that one or two sessions are sufficient to resolve the impasse. The precise form of each relationship is arrived at through mutual negotiation and may be altered by mutual consent. Spiritual Companions are offering a valuable service and are compensated for their work through payments for individual sessions; a monthly fee; or by some exchange of goods or services agreeable to both parties.

Q. What makes Soul Care with Rev. Rebecca unique?

A. Rev. Rebecca Armstrong is a spiritual humanist and is devoted to affirming and supporting the realization that individual spiritual growth is intertwined with one’s compassionate relationship with the world and its creatures. She is also a fierce advocate for the honoring of the Soul’s path, even when it runs counter to the expectations and directives of society. Her long relationship with Joseph Campbell and his work have made her especially aware of how deeply we are “story-makers” and how important this role is in understanding the movements and hungers of the Soul in its personal and collective manifestation. “Telling the story” is not just an idle pastime, but a creative act that frames the reality of the situation for good or ill. Being able to tell and re-tell the story means that patterns long set in stone can be broken and set anew so that new energy and new experiences can come in. This is the very essence of healing.

Q. How can I start my Soul Care?

A. You may call Rev. Rebecca directly and set up an appointment to meet, or send an email outlining your needs.

I am happy to invite you to join me in this exciting work, upon which all other work derives its meaning.  ~  Rev. Dr. Armstrong

 
Contact Rebecca by phone, toll free:   888.80.RITES

or by email:  ceremonies@aol.com